Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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