I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
