I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize