What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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