you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
