Do you still have your period?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
