Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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