Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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