dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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