you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
