I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
