it was like eating out sand paper
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
foreskin is a definite game changer
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize
