How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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