You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoofâ€
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