Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
