i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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