GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
