I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
