FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
