some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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