I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
