I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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