the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
