The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
