Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
