I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
