i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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