First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
