So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
