What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
