Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
your room smells of hookers.
And success
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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