not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
