Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
