i permit you to call me
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
