His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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