You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
