They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
