At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
