At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
God, I missed his penis.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
