You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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