Already got asked if we're dating
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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