You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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