I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
