This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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