He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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