This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
