So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
