if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
