I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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