is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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