When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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