If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
