Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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