im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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