remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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