hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
