Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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