At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
