yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Randomize
