Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
