Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
