help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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