Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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