Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
